By Dr. Bethel Webb

Fear is a powerful force. It sneaks in, takes control, and often brings out the parts of ourselves we don’t like—the anxious thoughts, the defensive words, the desperate actions. When fear grips us, we instinctively reach for something to make us feel safe. But here’s the hard truth: sometimes, the things we grab onto aren’t actually helping us.

We numb. We control. We avoid. We lash out. We run.

And yet, fear doesn’t have to dictate our reactions. It doesn’t have to drive us into unhealthy patterns. What if fear could actually be an invitation—to grow, to trust, to become stronger?

Unhealthy Ways We Cope with Fear

When we don’t handle fear well, it tends to show up in some of these ways:

• Avoidance. We pretend the fear isn’t there. We stay busy, scroll endlessly, or drown ourselves in entertainment—anything to distract from what we don’t want to face.
• Numbing. Instead of dealing with fear, we reach for things that temporarily dull it—food, social media, workaholism, shopping, or even unhealthy relationships.
• Control. Fear makes us grasp for certainty. We try to control people, situations, or even outcomes, believing that if we can just manage everything perfectly, we won’t have to feel afraid.
• Anger and Blame. Sometimes, fear disguises itself as frustration. We lash out at those around us, blaming them for our anxiety instead of addressing the real issue.
• Isolation. Instead of seeking support, we pull away from others, believing the lie that no one understands or that we have to figure it out alone.

But fear doesn’t have to define us. It can be a turning point. A signal that something deeper needs our attention. A chance to trust God in ways we never have before.

Healthy Ways Can We Cope with Fear? 

1. Educate Yourself. Fear thrives on the unknown. The more we understand what we’re facing, the less control fear has over us. Research. Learn. Ask questions. Truth brings clarity.
2. Listen to Others Who Have Overcome Similar Fears. Surround yourself with healthy, wise voices—especially those who have walked through what you’re facing. Be intentional about choosing people who are grounded and local, so their advice is relevant to your situation.
3. Advocate for Yourself and Others. Fear wants you to stay silent, but you don’t have to. Whether at church, in a nonprofit, or in your community, stand up for yourself and for those who are struggling with similar fears.
4. Find Help and Be Proactive. Don’t wait for fear to paralyze you. Seek out resources—whether it’s counseling, support groups, books, or trusted mentors. Take practical steps toward peace.
5. Guard What You Consume. Fear is big business. Some media, social media influencers, and even people in your life thrive on spreading fear. Turn off the TV. Unfollow those who capitalize on fear and anxiety. Instead, fill your mind with truth, hope, and encouragement.
6. Process your fear. The following steps can help.

• Identify the fear. What exactly are you afraid of? Is it failure? Rejection? Loss? The unknown? Name it honestly.
• Ask why it scares you. What does this fear threaten? Your sense of security? Your relationships? Your future? Understanding the why helps strip fear of its power.
• Find the root. Is this fear connected to past wounds, unmet expectations, or deep-seated insecurities? Often, fear has layers, and getting to the root can help bring true healing.
• Look at what God says. Fear distorts reality, but God’s Word brings clarity. What truth does He speak over your fear? Does He promise to provide? To be with you? To strengthen you?
• Ask God for help. Fear isn’t something we overcome on our own. Surrender it. Invite God into the places where fear has taken root and let Him replace it with His peace.
• Seek wise counsel. Fear loses its grip when we bring it into the light. Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor who can help you process what you’re facing.

Fear Can Be a Teacher, Not a Master

Fear will always try to speak first. It will always offer the fastest, easiest, and often unhealthiest reaction. But we don’t have to let fear master us. Instead, we can let it teach us—to depend on God more, to face what we’ve avoided, to heal what’s been broken, and to grow into the people He’s calling us to be.

Fear may bring out the worst in us.

But only if we let it.