By Dr. Bethel B Webb

I grew up in a loving home where my parents were devoted to planting churches and providing theological training for ministry leaders. Our house was never empty. We were always meeting new people, sharing meals, and opening our lives to others. Watching my parents, I dreamed of living a life just like theirs, despite the challenges it posed.

But as I grew older, I began to conflate two important aspects of faith: being with God and doing things for God. In other words, I merged my spirituality and my ministry into one indistinct blur. Over time, I learned to separate the two: spirituality encompasses our practices in relating to God, while ministry involves helping others to relate to Him.

Where I Got It Wrong

For years, I thought I could share the Gospel—a form of ministry—without truly living out the Gospel in my own life. I told people that Jesus loved them, even as I struggled to believe or experience that same love for myself. To be clear, I’m not suggesting we need to fully grasp or experience the Gospel before we can share it. Rather, I’m saying that it’s not ideal to stay in a place where ministry outpaces one’s own spiritual growth. Ideally, as we share the Gospel, we should also be moving toward a deeper understanding and experience of God’s love.

One poignant example came during my time in seminary. I was gaining so much knowledge about God, yet I wasn’t growing closer to Him. It wasn’t until a class challenged me with hard questions about my attachment to God that I realized something crucial: I was doing many things for God but wasn’t truly being with Him. Yes, I read my Bible, but it didn’t transform me. My ministry was full, but my spiritual life felt hollow.

The Breakthrough

The concept of attachment helped me make sense of my struggle. My journey began with the book Renovated, which explores the neuroscience of attachment and its connection to discipleship. Then I read Attached to God, which examines how our attachment styles shape our spiritual practices.

If we have a secure attachment with God, we view Him as safe, trustworthy, and unfailingly present. An anxious attachment, however, leaves us constantly fearing that God is displeased with us and that we must earn His love. With an avoidant attachment, we might keep God at arm’s length, avoiding intimacy with Him altogether.

Finding Balance

Understanding these attachment styles revealed why my spirituality and ministry had become entangled. I’d been operating out of an anxious attachment, striving to earn God’s approval through ministry rather than resting in His unconditional love. Slowly, I began to shift toward a secure attachment, learning to simply be with God—to trust Him, enjoy His presence, and let His love transform me. As I did, my ministry became more authentic and life-giving, both for others and for myself.

Spirituality and ministry are deeply connected, yet distinct. Ministry flows out of spirituality, not the other way around. When we prioritize being with God, our doing for God becomes a natural outpouring of His work in us. It’s not about choosing one over the other but about ensuring that the foundation of our ministry is a vibrant, growing relationship with the One we serve.